Acceptance

God spoke to me.

I can't say it any more simply or plainly. He came to me, told me I would hear from him in a dream, and instead he spoke to me through my daughter's dream.

I have no choice now but to believe.

I have asked for years for a sign from God. He gave me many, and most of the time I was able to explain them away. Perhaps they really weren't signs. Perhaps they were just coincidences.

But this was not chance. I cannot explain this away. It would be a script for a TV show about something that is too impossible to just be coincidence.

Now that I really believe, I truly do feel different. I don't feel the barrier to understanding that it is possible that God came to this earth to be with us in Jesus Christ, and that I can look to the concrete acts and words from him. Somehow, I feel him in my heart. I cannot explain it. It is like I feel consumed by him. I feel hope that things can change. I feel strength, and peace, comfort.

I feel different every morning. I no longer feel like I want to die when I open my eyes. While everything has not turned around 180 degrees, there are changes, and they are changes only for the better.

If I was unsure before if God was in my heart, I am sure of it now.